Getting responses on OkCupid isn't just about luck—it's about strategy. With the right messaging approach, you can significantly improve your response rate and have more meaningful conversations.
Here are 7 proven OkCupid messaging tips that will help you get more responses and better dates.
1. Personalize Every Message
The most important OkCupid messaging tip: always personalize. Generic messages get ignored. Take 30 seconds to read their profile and reference something specific.
Pro Tip: Mention something from their photos, bio, or OkCupid questions. This shows you're genuinely interested, not just mass-messaging.
2. Ask Engaging Questions
Questions invite responses. But not just any question—make it easy to answer and interesting enough to spark conversation.
- Good: "I saw you love hiking—what's your favorite trail in the area?"
- Bad: "Hey, how are you?"
3. Keep It Concise
Your OkCupid messages should be 2-4 sentences. Long messages feel overwhelming, while very short ones seem low-effort. Find the sweet spot.
4. Show Your Personality
Let your sense of humor, interests, or communication style shine through. This helps them get a sense of who you are and whether you'd click.
5. Timing Matters
Send messages during peak hours (evenings 7-9 PM, weekends) for better response rates. Avoid very early morning or late night messages.
6. Follow Up Strategically
If you don't get a response, wait 3-5 days before a light follow-up. Don't send multiple messages—if they're interested, they'll respond.
7. Stay Positive
Keep your OkCupid messages positive and friendly. Negativity, complaining, or being overly sexual will get you ignored.
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- Copy-pasting the same message to everyone
- Being too generic ("Hey beautiful")
- Making it all about you
- Being overly sexual too soon
- Asking for their number immediately
Final Thoughts
Mastering OkCupid messaging takes practice, but these tips will give you a strong foundation. Remember: be genuine, be personal, and be patient. Good conversations lead to great dates.