How to Ask for a Job Referral (Without Being Awkward)

Employee referrals are hired 55% faster and stay 25% longer than other candidates. A referral can be the difference between your resume disappearing into a black hole and landing on a hiring manager's desk.

But asking feels awkward. Here's exactly how to do it right.

Why Referrals Matter

Who to Ask

In order of effectiveness:

  1. Close contacts at the company — Friends, former colleagues
  2. Second-degree connections — Friends of friends
  3. Alumni — Same school, bootcamp, or program
  4. LinkedIn connections — People you've engaged with
  5. Cold outreach — Employees you don't know (least effective but still works)

Referral Request Templates

For Close Contacts

Hey [Name]!

I saw [Company] is hiring for a [Position] role and I'm super interested. I've been [brief relevant background] and think it could be a great fit.

Would you be comfortable referring me? Totally understand if not — no pressure at all. I can send over my resume and a few bullet points about why I'm interested if that helps!

Thanks either way 🙏

For Former Colleagues

Hi [Name],

Hope you're doing well at [Company]! I've been following the team's work on [specific thing] — really impressive.

I noticed there's an opening for [Position] and I'm very interested. Given my experience with [relevant experience from when you worked together], I think I could contribute a lot.

Would you be open to submitting a referral? I know it's an ask — happy to chat first if you'd like to know more about what I've been up to.

Either way, hope we can catch up soon!

Best,
[Your name]

For Alumni/Loose Connections

Hi [Name],

I'm a fellow [School/Program] alum and came across your profile while researching [Company]. I'm interested in the [Position] role and would love to learn more about your experience there.

Would you have 15 minutes for a quick chat? I'd really appreciate any insights you could share about the team and culture.

Thanks so much!

[Your name]
[School/Program], Class of [Year]

For Cold LinkedIn Outreach

Hi [Name],

I hope this isn't too forward — I'm exploring the [Position] role at [Company] and noticed you work on the [Team] team.

I've spent the last [X] years working on [relevant experience] and I'm excited about [Company]'s approach to [specific thing].

Would you be open to a brief chat about the team? I'd love to understand if my background might be a fit before applying. Totally understand if you're too busy!

Thanks,
[Your name]

Craft Perfect Referral Requests

FlirtCopilot helps you write personalized referral requests that feel natural, not transactional. Get AI-powered suggestions based on your relationship and context.

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Make It Easy for Them

Always provide:

Example blurb:

"[Your name] is a [role] with [X] years of experience in [area]. They previously worked at [Company] where they [achievement]. They're interested in [Company] because of [specific reason]."

Common Mistakes

After the Referral

  1. Thank them immediately — A genuine thank you message
  2. Keep them updated — Let them know when you hear back
  3. Pay it forward — Help others when you can
  4. Thank them again if hired — Coffee, lunch, or a nice gift

Key Takeaways

  1. Referrals dramatically improve your chances
  2. Start with close contacts, work outward
  3. Make it easy — provide everything they need
  4. Be genuine and remove pressure
  5. Always follow up with gratitude

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